Why adults date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from millennium. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with problems, cause sadness, and other troubles. In addition you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age difference, religious upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, lonely wife looks for dating.
Why do women have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I suppose generally though it is just the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your relatives or anyone else? You would need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your finances are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sadly this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his woman for a multitude of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our ordinary concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.